New Every Morning

I've been singing this song all this week, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness". And this line from a Petra song has also been in my mind. "Lord if You count our transgressions, who could stand? But thanks to Your grace, we are cleansed by the blood of the Lamb!"

So I finally looked up the scripture - Lamentations 3:22-24 - It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him".

It blows my mind that God loves me! I get so wrapped up in stuff in my life and then I let people and things get to me. But when I remember how He loves me -- all that other stuff fades away into so much insignificance. God loves us! He absolutely is head over heels in love with His children. One other scripture says that He twirls around in joy over how much He loves us. Amazing! Can you see God twirling in joy like a child over His love for us?

Who is like that? I know there are many other religions who look at someone they call 'god' differently, but does the god they believe in, twirl over them because of His great love? There is the difference among religions.

In religions, a person must do something to win favor from an entity that might accept what they do, and might not. The Christian (Christ-follower) realizes that there is nothing that we can do to gain eternal life or forgiveness of sins. It is a gift of our Heavenly Father Who gave His only Son to carry the load of our sin and guilt and sicknesses and griefs and sorrows. We could never do enough to make ourselves worthy of His love for us, but God has made us worthy through His Son. As we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness! (I John 1:9) Wow!

That's mercy! He is my portion - a fresh supply of mercy. It's what I need to have every morning. And because I get a new supply of it every day, God expects that I have enough to give out also. I won't run out, because He won't run out!

So, realize your cup is full of new mercy today - both to get and to give. And maybe do some of your own twirling around as you think about how much He loves you!

Thirty-Seven Years!

H.B. and I have been married 37 years today! For the first time I am announcing that we did not finish the required Pre-Cana classes. Now, I don’t suppose that Father John Marquis is going to be reading this, but if anyone knows him, let me know how to reach him and we will confess to him personally.

Lack of Pre-Cana classes aside, we’ve had a good life together. There have been some rough spots and boulders to move around, but it has been quite an adventure so far. I can’t imagine my life any other way than with him. He has been my best friend, protector and provider through all these years. I know I make him crazy with all the questions I ask about everything and with burying myself in books and studying all the time, but he usually takes it in good stride. And I’ve learned to be patient about things, like no grass in the front yard (after two years) because he thinks I’m nagging when I say things like, ‘gee, dandelions don’t look so bad when there are so many of them clumped together!’

I marvel that a few weeks ago after I mentioned a few things that would be nice (one more time mowing around the grass track so I could walk Penny more easily and a vegetable garden that needed to be put in pretty quickly) and they were done by the time I got home from work.

I appreciate that we can still laugh with one another. I enjoy it when we’re working outside together and when he turns off the TV and we sit at the table and talk about anything. He has helped me understand what it means to have faith when everything (and everyone) is saying something differently. When he went through a life-threatening illness over twenty years ago, I saw what loneliness is. That’s also when I learned that he is most of my heart. Really, he is most of my heart. There’s the part that beats to keep my body functioning, but the main part is where he has become the cells, fiber and muscles that contain his smile and laughter and voice. Happy Anniversary H.B!

An Anniversary, An Argument and Another Perspective

Today is the 56th anniversary of my parent's wedding day. My dad passed away four years ago. Six years ago they repeated their wedding vows in a church ceremony with a cake and reception that included all of their family and friends present. They didn't have that the first time around, but made up for it with that party. It was a terrific day and I'm glad we have it to remember. I know my mom is especially glad to have that memory. These days, she's pretty lonely, June is a tough month for her, and really, it's not that easy for me either, but I know that my own feelings of loss don't compare with the feelings that she experiences. I try to do all I can to ease her lonliness, but I guess that there are some things that cannot be helped by someone else. Our family generally gets through things together, but it's been a tougher year than usual. I don't know why. Maybe it's because we've lost sight of our moorings, the things that used to hold us to the shores.

We've been less forgiving and more judgmental of one another. We look at some habits and beliefs that some of us have and point fingers and shake our heads and forget that none of us are perfect. My siblings and I seem to have inherited my parents' strong wills (double portions) and the belief that we can do anything we put our strength to. We were taught to work hard for what we wanted. We're passionate about our opinions and beliefs. Almost to the end of my dad's life, he and I could argue for hours about a subject. Then he would say, 'well, I guess I'm not going to change your mind and I know you're not going to change my mind,' and just like that, our debate would end. But there was never any loss of love or respect for each another. I think that I miss that more than anything, because it's pretty difficult to find a person with like passion who will argue with all their strength against your opinion, and yet never lose sight of the person that you are and never judge you for your opposite view.

I guess what is most hurtful is when someone you love judges you and believes things not true without ever testing it, without asking if there are circumstances, or perspectives that they didn't see. There are always two sides to a thing. Like my dad and I arguing about a subject, we each believed that we were right and the other person was as wrong as we were right. Of course, there were those times when we learned something new from the other perspective. I can remember a couple of times when my dad said, 'yes, you might be right. Yeah, I can see that.' I can especially remember that I had to say that a lot of times. Did I lose face or my dad's respect? The highest respect that you can give a person is to disagree, even passionately, and yet never judge that person for their belief.

Jesus spoke of judging another person. The judgment that you mete out to another will be measured back to you. If I point my finger at you there are three pointing back at me. I won't say that I never judge a person, it's hard not to do when you see so much stupidity in the world, but I think debating with my dad taught me that just because someone has a different opinion doesn't make them less a person because of it. Who am I to judge a person? God has placed immeasurable value upon each soul. The proof of that is in His Son. His sacrifice was for each human being who has, does or will ever live upon this planet. Who am I to think that any person is less valuable than another. I heard someone say, ' so-and-so gives Christianity a bad name.' Who of us hasn't given Christ a bad name? No one can say that we have been perfect before God.

I guess I'll end this by telling a little story about myself. Recently, I've tried to look at myself as others might be perceiving me and I saw some things I didn't like. Especially, I realized that others may perceive that I'm looking down on them, as if I'm superior in some way. I know that I'm no better than anyone else, but having a strong will often makes me believe that my opinion is always right and everyone else is always wrong. I've prayed about that and I've asked the Holy Spirit to renew a right spirit within me. That's why, in the face of a tough family time right now, I can back off and pray and let God work in the situation. When everything in me wants to attack the issues, set the record straight and point to witnesses and evidence, and point fingers the other way -- well, this one is in God's hands. All that other stuff works in the legal documents and briefs that I've had to write for classes, but this one is in God's classroom. In that environment, you let Him be the lawyer and judge. I don't think it's any mistake that I felt really led to dig out my book on forgiveness about a month ago. Little did I know I would need to hear the lessons taught there. The Holy Spirit is working in me to change my perspective to be focusing upon the One who IS always right!

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! thank you for the lessons of life that I still am learning from you. I'm blessed that my Mom is stil here. Both of them are always in my heart and mind.

Remember to get and give mercy today, we all need it!

Additions and Boots

I've added a couple of links in the past two days. I was perusing my church's Web site the other day and found my pastor's blog. Hopefully, he'll update it soon, but he's a pretty busy guy, so I wonder that he has any time to do anything else but be our pastor. I also noticed that the pictures there of him and his wife (Pastor Tammie) only partially resemble him these days. He has lost a LOT of weight - I've been calling him the 'disappearing pastor' because his skin suit keeps 'melting' away. Good job, Pastor!

Then I told my son about blogging and now he's just started his own blog, so being the doting mother that I am, I had to add his link too. Wow - he's good looking! I hope he will talk a lot about guitars and his favorite music. It should be interesting. Of course, if he doesn't also brag on my grandchildren, I'll be on him pretty tough.

Yesterday I visited a dispaly on our State Capitol's lawn called 'Eyes Wide Open.' It's a display of boots honoring every military person who has died in the war in Iraq, both from United States and other countries in the coalition. They also include shoes, sandals and slippers to signify some of the Iraqi civilians who have died as a result of the war. There are names on the boots of the soldiers and some family members have added pictures, notes and other remembrances. The hardest ones for me were pictures of those with their very young babies and children. No matter your feelings about the Iraqi war, seeing the young and hopeful faces of the soldiers and their families can't help but make a person realize (again) the price paid for freedom. Not only did that soldier sacrifice their life, but there are children who will grow up without the ongoing love and support of their parent. For each of those families represented, I pray that they will grow into the full potential and purpose that God has built into them in spite of their loss at a young age.

Remember to show mercy today! All of us need mercy, both to get and to give.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a command of our Lord and Savior, not a carrot that you hold out, "apologize, and I'll forgive you."

Humans say and do stupid things. In the heat of righteous anger when every action seems justified, we've put words on the paper, the paper in an envelope, a stamp on the envelope and all of it in the mailbox from where it cannot again be retrieved, but by the person's name on the envelope. We've waited for the ISP to connect us to the Internet, we've opened our e-mail software, opened a fresh screen, put down our words and pressed the 'send' key. A little later when we've thought about the situation, our reaction to it and then the words we sent out, we wonder, "maybe I acted in haste".

"Maybe I should have waited to send out those words. Maybe I didn't have all the facts. Maybe in the seeing or hearing something, my anger twisted what I saw or heard. I forgot about the history of that person, how they've supported me when I needed it; encouraged me when it was rough; spoke words of wisdom to me when I deserved much less."

The book of James says that we should be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger, because our anger does not achieve the righteousness of God (James 1:19-20).

About ten years ago, I read Jim Bakker's book, "I Was Wrong". It tells of his experiences in prison and his road to forgiveness, both from His Savior and to those who pulled some nasty tricks of their own against him. The book changed my life because it led me to another book that someone sent to him and that led him to seek and give forgiveness. Though the book was out of print, I was able to find and purchase R. T. Kendall's "God Meant it For Good." He retells the story of Joseph of the 'coat of many colors' in the framework of God's command to forgive. His most recent book on the subject goes even beyond that book, "Total Forgiveness." Here are lists of what total forgiveness is not and is.

What forgiveness is not:
1. Approval of what they did
2. Excusing what they did
3. Justifying what they did
4. Pardoning what they did
5. Reconciliation
6. Denying what they did
7. Blindness to what happened
8. Forgetting
9. Refusing to take the wrong seriously
10. Pretending we are not hurt

What forgiveness is:
1. Being aware of what someone has done and still forgiving them
2. Choosing to keep no records of wrong
3. Refusing to punish
4. Not telling what they did
5. Being merciful
6. Graciousness
7. It is an inner condition
8. It is the absence of bitterness
9. Forgiving God
10. Forgiving ourselves.

These are pretty self-explanatory, but I have to talk about #9 on the second list. I don't have the audacity to think that I have any right to hold something against a perfect God. But Kendall says, "although we often do not see it at first, all of our bitterness is ultimately traceable to a resentment of God." It goes along with the charge against God that we often hear after some great tragedy, "well, how could a loving God allow such a horrible thing to happen?"

We usually don't say or think that because we are seeking answers to something we don't understand, as much as we're accusing and blaming God for our hurt. "God will clear His own name from the charge of being unjust, but in the meantime, we need to trust Him and take Him at His Word that He is just and merciful."

"For all of us who struggle with God's right to allow evil to exist in the world, there still must be a genuine forgiveness on our part, for any bitterness toward God grieves the Holy Spirit. We therefore must forgive Him -- though He is not guilty -- for allowing evil to touch our lives."

I have to stress that God is not guilty. The Bible says that He is perfect, that all good gifts come from the Father of lights, of whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. He doesn't change, He is always light and is never the perpetrator of evil against us. Though we cannot overlook His right to avenge with His own wrath at the appropriate time, He is not the One guilty of the evil that touches us.

Forgiveness speaks of my own action, not the action (or inaction) of another person. That person may not be guilty of anything, but my perception, or hurt or anger may cause me to accuse where no guilt exists.

When I review #9 in this light, it becomes more clear and I can see how we have held God accountable, in our own hearts, for things of which He was never guilty. And we do it to each other all the time. We are quick to judge where we have no right or where we don't see all the facts.

Forgiveness toward one another is required if we want to seek forgiveness from God. When Jesus taught us to pray He said, "forgive us our debts as we forgive those who trespass against us" (Matthew 6:12). Ephesians 4:31-32 says, "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." We also see that forgiveness is given before it is realized and accepted in these scriptures.

God hasn't said, "apologize and I'll forgive you". He says, "I love you so much that I gave my only Son as the propitiation (the Sacrifice and One who took your place) for your sins" (I John 4:10; John 3:16). While I was a sinner, before I knew Him, before I was even born, Christ died for me (Romans 5:6-8).

Forgiveness toward one another is powerful. It is not meted out from an attitude of superiority and arrogance. It is from the very nature of God -- Christ on the cross, naked, beaten, bleeding and asking it of His Father for those who do not realize, that in their anger and misunderstanding, are killing the very Son of God. It is humility personified. I do not hold it out and say, "you must apologize, you must do this thing or not do that thing."

It says, "yes, I am hurt. You were wrong to do what you did. You misunderstood, you misjudged and said hurtful things. You have held things against me that are not correct. You don't realize how much you've hurt me and I may never even tell you. But I forgive you. I forgive because God has forgiven me for so much more. I cannot hold against you, what God in His own mercy has not held against me."

Forgiveness comes from a heart that both experiences and wants to experience God's love.

All of us need mercy, both to get and to give.