Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a command of our Lord and Savior, not a carrot that you hold out, "apologize, and I'll forgive you."
Humans say and do stupid things. In the heat of righteous anger when every action seems justified, we've put words on the paper, the paper in an envelope, a stamp on the envelope and all of it in the mailbox from where it cannot again be retrieved, but by the person's name on the envelope. We've waited for the ISP to connect us to the Internet, we've opened our e-mail software, opened a fresh screen, put down our words and pressed the 'send' key. A little later when we've thought about the situation, our reaction to it and then the words we sent out, we wonder, "maybe I acted in haste".
"Maybe I should have waited to send out those words. Maybe I didn't have all the facts. Maybe in the seeing or hearing something, my anger twisted what I saw or heard. I forgot about the history of that person, how they've supported me when I needed it; encouraged me when it was rough; spoke words of wisdom to me when I deserved much less."
The book of James says that we should be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger, because our anger does not achieve the righteousness of God (James 1:19-20).
About ten years ago, I read Jim Bakker's book, "I Was Wrong". It tells of his experiences in prison and his road to forgiveness, both from His Savior and to those who pulled some nasty tricks of their own against him. The book changed my life because it led me to another book that someone sent to him and that led him to seek and give forgiveness. Though the book was out of print, I was able to find and purchase R. T. Kendall's "God Meant it For Good." He retells the story of Joseph of the 'coat of many colors' in the framework of God's command to forgive. His most recent book on the subject goes even beyond that book, "Total Forgiveness." Here are lists of what total forgiveness is not and is.
What forgiveness is not:
1. Approval of what they did
2. Excusing what they did
3. Justifying what they did
4. Pardoning what they did
5. Reconciliation
6. Denying what they did
7. Blindness to what happened
8. Forgetting
9. Refusing to take the wrong seriously
10. Pretending we are not hurt
What forgiveness is:
1. Being aware of what someone has done and still forgiving them
2. Choosing to keep no records of wrong
3. Refusing to punish
4. Not telling what they did
5. Being merciful
6. Graciousness
7. It is an inner condition
8. It is the absence of bitterness
9. Forgiving God
10. Forgiving ourselves.
These are pretty self-explanatory, but I have to talk about #9 on the second list. I don't have the audacity to think that I have any right to hold something against a perfect God. But Kendall says, "although we often do not see it at first, all of our bitterness is ultimately traceable to a resentment of God." It goes along with the charge against God that we often hear after some great tragedy, "well, how could a loving God allow such a horrible thing to happen?"
We usually don't say or think that because we are seeking answers to something we don't understand, as much as we're accusing and blaming God for our hurt. "God will clear His own name from the charge of being unjust, but in the meantime, we need to trust Him and take Him at His Word that He is just and merciful."
"For all of us who struggle with God's right to allow evil to exist in the world, there still must be a genuine forgiveness on our part, for any bitterness toward God grieves the Holy Spirit. We therefore must forgive Him -- though He is not guilty -- for allowing evil to touch our lives."
I have to stress that God is not guilty. The Bible says that He is perfect, that all good gifts come from the Father of lights, of whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. He doesn't change, He is always light and is never the perpetrator of evil against us. Though we cannot overlook His right to avenge with His own wrath at the appropriate time, He is not the One guilty of the evil that touches us.
Forgiveness speaks of my own action, not the action (or inaction) of another person. That person may not be guilty of anything, but my perception, or hurt or anger may cause me to accuse where no guilt exists.
When I review #9 in this light, it becomes more clear and I can see how we have held God accountable, in our own hearts, for things of which He was never guilty. And we do it to each other all the time. We are quick to judge where we have no right or where we don't see all the facts.
Forgiveness toward one another is required if we want to seek forgiveness from God. When Jesus taught us to pray He said, "forgive us our debts as we forgive those who trespass against us" (Matthew 6:12). Ephesians 4:31-32 says, "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." We also see that forgiveness is given before it is realized and accepted in these scriptures.
God hasn't said, "apologize and I'll forgive you". He says, "I love you so much that I gave my only Son as the propitiation (the Sacrifice and One who took your place) for your sins" (I John 4:10; John 3:16). While I was a sinner, before I knew Him, before I was even born, Christ died for me (Romans 5:6-8).
Forgiveness toward one another is powerful. It is not meted out from an attitude of superiority and arrogance. It is from the very nature of God -- Christ on the cross, naked, beaten, bleeding and asking it of His Father for those who do not realize, that in their anger and misunderstanding, are killing the very Son of God. It is humility personified. I do not hold it out and say, "you must apologize, you must do this thing or not do that thing."
It says, "yes, I am hurt. You were wrong to do what you did. You misunderstood, you misjudged and said hurtful things. You have held things against me that are not correct. You don't realize how much you've hurt me and I may never even tell you. But I forgive you. I forgive because God has forgiven me for so much more. I cannot hold against you, what God in His own mercy has not held against me."
Forgiveness comes from a heart that both experiences and wants to experience God's love.
All of us need mercy, both to get and to give.
Humans say and do stupid things. In the heat of righteous anger when every action seems justified, we've put words on the paper, the paper in an envelope, a stamp on the envelope and all of it in the mailbox from where it cannot again be retrieved, but by the person's name on the envelope. We've waited for the ISP to connect us to the Internet, we've opened our e-mail software, opened a fresh screen, put down our words and pressed the 'send' key. A little later when we've thought about the situation, our reaction to it and then the words we sent out, we wonder, "maybe I acted in haste".
"Maybe I should have waited to send out those words. Maybe I didn't have all the facts. Maybe in the seeing or hearing something, my anger twisted what I saw or heard. I forgot about the history of that person, how they've supported me when I needed it; encouraged me when it was rough; spoke words of wisdom to me when I deserved much less."
The book of James says that we should be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger, because our anger does not achieve the righteousness of God (James 1:19-20).
About ten years ago, I read Jim Bakker's book, "I Was Wrong". It tells of his experiences in prison and his road to forgiveness, both from His Savior and to those who pulled some nasty tricks of their own against him. The book changed my life because it led me to another book that someone sent to him and that led him to seek and give forgiveness. Though the book was out of print, I was able to find and purchase R. T. Kendall's "God Meant it For Good." He retells the story of Joseph of the 'coat of many colors' in the framework of God's command to forgive. His most recent book on the subject goes even beyond that book, "Total Forgiveness." Here are lists of what total forgiveness is not and is.
What forgiveness is not:
1. Approval of what they did
2. Excusing what they did
3. Justifying what they did
4. Pardoning what they did
5. Reconciliation
6. Denying what they did
7. Blindness to what happened
8. Forgetting
9. Refusing to take the wrong seriously
10. Pretending we are not hurt
What forgiveness is:
1. Being aware of what someone has done and still forgiving them
2. Choosing to keep no records of wrong
3. Refusing to punish
4. Not telling what they did
5. Being merciful
6. Graciousness
7. It is an inner condition
8. It is the absence of bitterness
9. Forgiving God
10. Forgiving ourselves.
These are pretty self-explanatory, but I have to talk about #9 on the second list. I don't have the audacity to think that I have any right to hold something against a perfect God. But Kendall says, "although we often do not see it at first, all of our bitterness is ultimately traceable to a resentment of God." It goes along with the charge against God that we often hear after some great tragedy, "well, how could a loving God allow such a horrible thing to happen?"
We usually don't say or think that because we are seeking answers to something we don't understand, as much as we're accusing and blaming God for our hurt. "God will clear His own name from the charge of being unjust, but in the meantime, we need to trust Him and take Him at His Word that He is just and merciful."
"For all of us who struggle with God's right to allow evil to exist in the world, there still must be a genuine forgiveness on our part, for any bitterness toward God grieves the Holy Spirit. We therefore must forgive Him -- though He is not guilty -- for allowing evil to touch our lives."
I have to stress that God is not guilty. The Bible says that He is perfect, that all good gifts come from the Father of lights, of whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. He doesn't change, He is always light and is never the perpetrator of evil against us. Though we cannot overlook His right to avenge with His own wrath at the appropriate time, He is not the One guilty of the evil that touches us.
Forgiveness speaks of my own action, not the action (or inaction) of another person. That person may not be guilty of anything, but my perception, or hurt or anger may cause me to accuse where no guilt exists.
When I review #9 in this light, it becomes more clear and I can see how we have held God accountable, in our own hearts, for things of which He was never guilty. And we do it to each other all the time. We are quick to judge where we have no right or where we don't see all the facts.
Forgiveness toward one another is required if we want to seek forgiveness from God. When Jesus taught us to pray He said, "forgive us our debts as we forgive those who trespass against us" (Matthew 6:12). Ephesians 4:31-32 says, "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." We also see that forgiveness is given before it is realized and accepted in these scriptures.
God hasn't said, "apologize and I'll forgive you". He says, "I love you so much that I gave my only Son as the propitiation (the Sacrifice and One who took your place) for your sins" (I John 4:10; John 3:16). While I was a sinner, before I knew Him, before I was even born, Christ died for me (Romans 5:6-8).
Forgiveness toward one another is powerful. It is not meted out from an attitude of superiority and arrogance. It is from the very nature of God -- Christ on the cross, naked, beaten, bleeding and asking it of His Father for those who do not realize, that in their anger and misunderstanding, are killing the very Son of God. It is humility personified. I do not hold it out and say, "you must apologize, you must do this thing or not do that thing."
It says, "yes, I am hurt. You were wrong to do what you did. You misunderstood, you misjudged and said hurtful things. You have held things against me that are not correct. You don't realize how much you've hurt me and I may never even tell you. But I forgive you. I forgive because God has forgiven me for so much more. I cannot hold against you, what God in His own mercy has not held against me."
Forgiveness comes from a heart that both experiences and wants to experience God's love.
All of us need mercy, both to get and to give.
posted by Deborah at 8:54 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home