The Diet

Well, after months of procrastinating and feeling helpless to start doing anything about my weight, I finally have started. I had read about the South Beach Diet about a year ago and it sounded interesting, but that's as far as it went. Then about three weeks ago I ordered the book from the library and started reading. It sounded pretty interesting and more than that, it sounded doable. Bread, pasta, potatoes, bagels - I never met one of those I don't love, but those are the triggers that keep me fat and gaining.

This is my ninth day of the diet and yesterday when I weighed myself I'd lost five pounds! That was exciting. Yesterday was also the roughest day I've had with the diet. I didn't feel good all day and the chocolate candy dish at work called my name all day long, but I am determined that I'm not going to undo what I've achieved and so I asked God for His grace concerning it. Today I started reading Joyce Meyers' book, "Look Great, Feel Great", or maybe it's the other way around. In the first chapter she talks about willpower.

Willpower exists in our soul along with the mind, will and emotions. It's easily broken down because we begin to reason ourselves out of something that we had originally 'committed' to doing. It's like when I said for all those months, "I'll start tomorrow or next week", and then I'd do nothing. Sure willpower can often get us far in an endeavor, but eventually, something changes our mind and willpower goes out the window. Having experienced this, I know it's true. So, I'm counting on God's help with this.

I know I am powerless to change myself without His Spirit. My efforts in the past have been thrown aside and I'm at the highest weight I've been in about six years. Only now, not only am I looking terrible with this weight, it's also affecting my ability to move well, my joints hurt and I know it's because I'm carrying around too much baggage. In just nine days, though, my joints feel better, so I know it's not just the weight, it's what I was eating.

After this week, I'll be able to add some fruit to my meals and snacks and a little bread here and there, although I honestly think I may forgo the bread a little longer, because I feel okay now without it. Oh, someone else benefits from this diet - I bought a huge bag of small carrots which I love, but since they contain so many carbs (sugar) I can't have them in Phase 1 and they're limited in Phase 2. No problem - Penny LOVES carrots and they're better for her than some of the dog treats - thought I have to wonder if carbs work the same for dogs as for humans. Oh well, she's only getting two or three a day and that's instead of her dog treats.

Well, time to go take her for a walk.

But first, I know that God's grace is sufficient to what I need. The foundation of being well is being able to serve Him and if I'm tired, sick and worn out, I'm not much use to anyone. When I begin to waver, I will count on and fall upon His grace and mercy to help in time of need. It all comes back to mercy, every time! So for those few who read this blog, make sure you look to Him for your share today and remember that others also need mercy!

Lesson on Life

Below is something I found on a blog of a young man who died last Sunday morning just six days short of his 19th birthday. For me it is both thought- and action-provoking as I look at my own life and how much of it has passed and wonder about how much I have left on this earth.

If you've watched CNN or caught them on-line, maybe you saw the headlines about Miles Levin. Anderson Cooper did a story about him last Tuesday evening. I don't usually read this stuff, but because he was young and had written a blog, I thought I'd visit it. You'll find it at carepages.com; you have to sign in and you can check on levinstory to read the blog.

I started at the most recent postings and then skipped to the beginning posts and then met up somewhere in the middle of his blog, though I'm not sure I've read all of it yet. For me, it's one of those things that you can only take so much of at one time, though after reading his blog, I feel like a coward in admitting that. This young man and his family and friends have gone through hell and here I am not even able to read through it. Cancer at any age is straight from the pit of hell and there are many who fight it, win over it and succoumb to it.

Before I put in what he wrote about life, though, there is one thing I have to say about one of his other posts. He said that God must have given him this disease so that he could teach other people how to live and die with it. With much humility and respect for him and his loving and grieving family, as I have never personally faced such a diagnosis and path, I'll say outright that I have to disagree - God is not putting sickness on anyone to teach them or anyone else how to live or die.

That's not presumption on my part, I just must say that God sent Jesus to bear our sins and sicknesses. His is a dual provision for us and Jesus fulfilled both of them. Healing for Miles was as available (and possible) for him as it was for the children of Israel coming out of Egypt and throughout the Old Testament. In the New Testament, Jesus continued to reveal the Father's will by healing all who would believe and receive healing. Today the power of healing and divine health is still available for us because God never changes. How to receive and walk in health is involved in faith and standing in that faith and there are lots of scripture to show us how to do that. I'm not an expert at it, but I want to be, because sickness ravages families and churches and so I think it's worthy of our study, prayer and consideration to find God's will concerning it. In future posts, maybe I can do that.

But for now, I thought I'd post this one post about life from his blog.

"I went to the driving range the other day and I was thinking...

I was thinking how you start out with a big bucket full of golf balls, and you just start hitting away carelessly. You have dozens of them, each individual ball means nothing so you just hit, hit, hit. One ball gone is practically inconsequential when subtracted from your bottomless bucket. There are no practice swings or technique re-evaluations after a bad shot, because so many more tries remain. Yet eventually you start to have to reach down towards the bottom of the bucket to scavenge for another shot and you realize that tries are running out. Now with just a handful left, each swing becomes more meaningful. The right technique becomes more crucial, so between each shot you take a couple practice swings and a few deep breaths. There is a very strong need to end on a good note, even if every preceeding shot was horrible, getting it right at the end means a lot. You know as you tee up your last ball, "This is my final shot, I want to crush this with perfection; I must make this count." Limited quantities or limited time brings a new, precious value and signficance to anything you do. Live every day shooting as if its your last shot, I know I have to.

I found out today 5 year survival rates are just 20%."

Heavenly Father, in the Name of Jesus, thank you for Your mercy. Help me today to remember that others need also to receive mercy from me.

Andrew's Version

Two-and-a-half year-old Andrew has his own version of what happened to the car last week. According to him, "the monster broke into Nana's car and Pa freaked. The monster ran back to his junk house and now Nana doesn't have enough money to give to the grocery lady."

I don't know where he comes up with this stuff. Today he told me (again) that he's a boy, then he added that he doesn't like girls. I told him that I was a girl, Ashley is a girl and so is his mama. He answered that we should sell Ashley in the yard sale.

One day he was riding his bike outside with his daddy. They live in a farm house surrounded by fields and it was planting season and the workers had left the large equipment by the barn. He got off his bike and told his daddy that he was going to climb on the tractor. When his daddy told him 'no', he said 'why not, I'm a guy?'

What a funny guy! And a story-teller like his sister and his cousin, Drew. Who knows, maybe they will all grow up to be authors and Alixandra will be their illustrator!

Technology

CrazyTriMama (also known as 'Daught') stepped into the 21st century a few days ago. She finally laid out the bucks to buy her own home computer! Now she's e-mailing and uploading pics and blogging from home! The word around our family e-mails is that her grams is going to have to go up there to feed and take care of the children, as she has admitted that they are dirty and malnourished after only four days! Going to have to watch this situation!

Want Some Aftershave? How About a Library Book?

Or here, maybe some music or sermon CDs?

Those were the only items available to the criminal who broke into my car this past Tuesday. Actually, it's my husband's main ride, but I've been driving it a lot since my own ride has had some issues of his own. Anyway, back to the criminal.

He gained entrance by way of the back passenger window. I know it was a 'he' because he left his huge dirty footprints all over the leather seats and dash and door. I figure all criminals are idiots anyway, but this one was especially without the ability to reason. At some point he tried entering through the sunroof - yeah, what was he going to do? Dive through? I guess when you've got no brain cells anyway, taking a dive through the roof won't matter. At some point he must have thought that was no fun, so he used the same instrument he tried to pry open the sun roof with to shatter the window. Then as if that wasn't enough, he pried apart the strips of metal on the front and back of the door and window columns. I can't figure out why that was necessary, but there I go again, trying to figure out an idiot criminal.

Thankfully, idiot criminals don't like library books, music and sermon CDs or sandals, because he just threw all that stuff around, which went real well with the shattered glass beads all over the place. What he was after was some aftershave, that and $2 worth of change. Maybe he had a hot date? Don't know, don't care.

HB and I figure maybe the thing to do is to leave the doors unlocked so the criminal element doesn't have to work so hard to do their trade. Sure saves the insurance deductible we have to give out to repair everything. I was/am still pretty angry about it.

It could have been worse, I didn't come upon him doing it and he didn't take the library books, which the library would have charged an arm and leg to replace. More than that, he didn't mess up the interior or exterior, and better yet, he didn't steal the car. In the over 34 years I've gone in and out of the city, I guess I've been pretty blessed that this is only the second time I've been affected directly by an idiot criminal. The first time is another story for another time.

One good thing, I used to ride public transportation and got to know a lot of bus drivers well. One in particular that I hadn't seen in over two years happened to be driving the bus I had to take downtown from dropping off the first of two rental cars I've had to use. Anyway, I miss seeing those guys, and so it made my day to see Ralph and catch up with him on his family and the retired drivers I knew. He had good news and bad news, but it was good to be able to talk with him.

So, here's the thing ... I know that God's mercy is available for even idiot criminals. I have to forgive and I do, because really, God protected me and even the little bit of stuff that was in the car. Yeah, sure we're out some bucks (and some aftershave!), but I have to forgive. That's what mercy is all about, getting it and giving it out. God expects me to give it out even to idiot criminals, after all, if He does it, who am I to withhold it?

"Okay, Father, but can I make sure the idiot criminal experiences some remorse? Oh alright, I'll leave all that to you, Dad."